“These days, I’m trying to stay in top shape for work. So when I see a beer I can’t help but squint my eyes and imagine a treadmill. Specifically how long I’ll have to be on that treadmill to burn off the beer. Michelob Ultra has only 95 calories and 2.6 carbs so… I can run that off very easily. Probably in like 10 seconds? (I run 85 mph) Which really makes you wonder why I’m not playing IN the Super Bowl. I know.”